


obi-wan has an email address, and saves the galaxy with it

by merryrogue



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Don't worry, M/M, Qui-Gon Jinn Bashing, The Jedi Order, but they also send a lot of these emails that no one reads, is it an epistolary fic if it's emails?, the jedi order supports your gender, the major character is palpatine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:14:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26781235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merryrogue/pseuds/merryrogue
Summary: if the Jedi Order had email servers, would they have a .jedi domain, or would that be attachment?so this started as that trick to figure out the voice of your characters by writing to another character as them? Then it turned into a epistolary fic after I found out I could use a work skin to make it look like emails.I /had/ an outline, and then they started talking to each other, so let's see where this goes.
Relationships: Jango Fett/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 33
Kudos: 462





	1. Mereel to Windu

From: jastermereel@housemel.net

Subject: suspected jedi on bro'mem

To:M.windu@masterscounsel.jedi

I was told that this was a matter for a more senior member of the jedi order, and thus have attached my original messages to you. 

Jaster Mereel 

Mando’lar 

Kar'tayl - the kid in the description is with me and being cared for. 

Why, if you have an answer, did I find him in a crate with broken ribs. That I won in a sabacc game against what I believe to be his teacher. 

I have reservations about contacting you at all, but the adiik insisted. 

  
  


FRD: From: jastermereel@housemel.net 

To: info@masterscounsel.jedi

About: suspected jedi on bro’mem

As a member of the united independent outer planets, I would like to report a suspected Jedi using force tricks against multiple law abiding citizens of bro’mem. Video files and holo-stills have been attached. 

Jaster Mereel

Mando’lar 

* * *

FRD:  
From info@masterscounsel.jedi

To: jasterMereel@housemel.net 

About: suspected jedi on bro’mem

To Mx. Mereel - 

As a representation of the Jedi Counsel, I wish to thank you for your good will in alerting us to this issue, which will be taken very seriously within our order. 

In this vein we wish to ask for any identifying information you may have, such as holos, audio data, holo stills, or physical items, such as photos or flimsi. 

We have reason to believe your attached files pertain to an ongoing Order mission that involved a Jedi Padawan. If you have any materials related to a young adult human matching this description: 

Species: human 

Gender: male presenting 

Height: 1.45 (as of 2 years ago)

Mass: 38 kilo (as of 2 years ago)

Hair color: human red to blonde

Eyes: blue/gray tones

Skin color: human fair 

we would like them to be forwarded to - M.windu@masterscounsel.jedi , who is in charge of this investigation. 

If we have used the wrong pronouns, titles, or honorifics, please respond if you are comfortable doing so; we wish to always expand our understanding of the greater galaxy. Our standard when such identifications are not clear or are not provided is to assume they/them, Mx. your name, and Citizen. 

Mx. Hert’a Syndulla (they/them) 

H.Syndulla@educorps.jedi 

Educorps 

padawan of Mas. Tera Sinube (he/him)

Tera.Sinube@jediorder.net 

Temple Security, research division 

* * *

Yes, Master Windu is going to regret knowing Jinn after this. At this point Jinn has convinced the counsel Obi-wan ran off on him, which is clearly not the case. He’s been hiding a lot of things in badly written reports. (lies. He’s been lying. Mostly about how traumatized Obi’wan is, because the force is on his side damnit.) 

I used Mas. as an honorific to denote Jedi Master, since I assume it’s like Mr./Mrs./Mx. at this point in that universe.

**original or usual characters**

Mx. Hert’a Syndulla (they/them) 

H.Syndulla@educorps.jedi 

Educorps 

Does not exist in cannon, not even with other pronouns. I needed an intern. They do not deserve the shit they get in their inbox about field jedi causing property damage, but it’s their job to put out the smaller PR fires that jedi like Jinn leave. Because you know some poor soul has that job. 

They’re Twi'lek, have a colorful scarf to cover their gendered ears (really Lucas film. really?) and nervously fuss with their very talkative lekku. 

If Bly ever met them in cannon he thought they were hot. He has a type. It’s Twi'leks who look anything like his general. 

Mas. Tera Sinube (he/him)

Tera.Sinube@jediorder.net 

Temple security 

Does exist in canon for one episode where Ashoka learns about being patient. He’s very old and chill, so a good fit for a nervous but eager to please padawan like Hert’a. 

**Mandalorian dictionary**

Adiik - child between the age of 3 and 13. Obi-wan is 13, but since mandalorians come of age at 13, Jaster is making a point about how obi-wan is a kid. 

Kar'tayl - awareness, knowledge. I am using it as a cultural replacement for P.S. since postscript would be not enough science fiction, even in Star Wars. 

Mand'alor - proper title of the leader of the mandalorians. 

(if you didn’t know this, I'm so honored to introduce you to your newest obsession.)


	2. Jinn to helpdesk

From: Q.Jinn@fieldmasters.jedi

Subject: missing padawan, bro’mem

To: missing@helpdesk.jedi

To those on call,

I have to report that I lost contact with Obi-wan after my attempt to smuggle him out of bro’mem failed. I had attempted to gain funds to replace our ship in exchange for goods from our target, but the casino owner (several of the items we acquired are illegal to move off planet) had Mandalorian security, so my attempt to convince her to give me Obi-wan’s hiding place was thwarted. I saw him be moved onto the mandalorain’s ship. I will make a full report to the counsel when I return.

Jinn

Hert’a put their head onto their desk in the stuffy basement assistant security offices. If they did it repeatedly, maybe Master Jinn wouldn’t have made such a mess? Or at least it wouldn’t be their problem for a bit. 

They sighed. The Mandalorian (who has been surprisingly polite, wonders of the force, you wouldn’t think they had it in them). He had been right about where Obi-wan was, and now _they_ had to email half the counsel about it. Nothing for it. They pulled up a document and with a grimace drank the stone cold caff in the cup beside it. (there really wasn’t a form for half the things Jinn got up to, and it really wasn't worth it to go get more and put this off, even for hot caff.) 

How, exactly, was Obi-wan still in one piece? They mused, fingers flying. His master got them in more trouble then some of the shadow knights got into, and he’d been with Jinn for barely a year! At least he’d been kind enough to give the security office some very nice caff and sweets, the last time his master had caused some late nights. He really was a very sweet youngling, and tried to make up for when his master’s dramatics bit the security offices instead of who has caused the trouble. 

Honestly, Jinn didn't deserve him. The smart money had been on Master Koon or Mace, but then Master Yoda had waded in and of course he wanted Obi-wan in _his_ lineage. Even if Jinn was far too abrasive for such a sensitive youngling, but what did they know? They were just an office padawan after all. 

Even if they had dirt on half the order. Speaking of, what was Billiba up to? She’d promised to call today, and her master was clearly going to be busy....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jedi are kind of biased about mandalorians, and mandalorians are kind of biased about Jedi. it's a theme in this fic.
> 
> I had written myself into a corner and wrote myself out, which is why this is late. Small changes to chapter 1, but not much. Consider it a gift for election night. 
> 
>   
>  Jinn is a hothead jump first kind of guy with superpowers, he drives the people who have to deal with the messes he makes crazy. He is that coworker who does the bare minimum and is the boss’s grandson, so he gets away with it. I read the retconned “legends” novelas about Obi-wan’s padawan years, and Jinn is an asshole. Red flags all over the place, but not physically abusive, just alarmingly negligent. 


	3. Koon to Jinn

From: P.Koon@masterscounsel.jedi

Subject: Bro'mem

To: Q.Jinn@fieldmasters.jedi

Jinn.

First off, because it frankly needs to be said somewhere outside of my skull. 

What were you doing to the initiate in your care? 

The Mandalorian you apparently lost obi-wan to _in a game of Sabacc,_ reports that he had bruised ribs and a mild concussion, and seemed to believe that that was “normal, for a mission with master Jinn” in follow up communications.

You, in your field report, reported mild bruising, and thus all of your reports for the past year have been pulled. Obi-wan clearly wrote a good half of them, and was put into danger that is not only against our order’s regulations, but count as youngling abuse in all core worlds.

You have been told, repeatedly, along with every other knight with a padawan, that until obi-wan is 16 standard, you are not allowed to take him with you on missions that may involve combat. If you take such missions, Obi-wan is to stay in the temple on the padawan learning schedule. Over the course of a standard year, you have brought him on five different missions. Redactive to the pulled reports, three of them had been deemed too dangerous for any knight with a padawan, never mind one under sixteen standard.

For each of which you narrowly managed to not be officially censored for, because as far as we can tell you told the youngling under your care to lie under oath to the counsel. 

You had already been warned that we would review your fitness to train a padawan after your last mission where Obi-wan was not able to fudge for you. We had reason to believe you knew it was more dangerous than even a senior padawan should have been involved with, but that you took an innituate padawan with you, having already been censored. That would be grounds for Kenobi’s removal on it’s own.

But we have a bigger problem. 

Because I asked, and Master Tenn said you never filed the paperwork to have him as your padawan. We now legally can’t require the Head of State, of a planet who has deep distrust of us, who now has Kenobi. 

We can’t make him give us Kenobi back, because you aren't officially Kenobi’s legal guardian and the temple loses custody after the master/padawan bond is formed. We might have to fight the Mandalorians in a legal custody battle that they will win, because they have the high moral ground. Because you seem to think taking a padawan on any of your attempted suicide missions is remotely appropriate. If his Highness is foolish enough to let the Temple have custody of Kenobi again, you will not be his master. 

You are to report to the mind healers for twice weekly evaluations and are to stay within the temple until they clear you. 

Plo Koon (he/him)

P.Koon@masterscounsel.jedi 

Member of the high counsel 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, someone wanted Obi-wan as a padawan and is VERY pissed. “No attachment” my foot.
> 
> Yoda was in the meeting and was making “why did you betray my trust grandson?” eyes. He’s biased about Jinn, but not to the point of ignoring this.
> 
> Yes, Jinn taking Obi-wan into warzones and then leaving him there counts as an abusive situation, and frankly the gaslighting in the books written as “Jinn is conflicted about taking Obi-wan as a padawan” reads very much as emotional abuse, considering in the books obi-wan is an unaccompanied minor and Jinn is the only adult with any claim to him in a dangerous situation. And that’s before they get to the planet where Jinn dumps Obi-wan alone in a war zone. 
> 
> the order isn’t dumb, just fairly trusting that they’d be able to feel in the force if a child was being mistreated, and they have backup systems for cases like Obi-wan, who is in the “Yeah I’m just an angry teen, this is how all padawan’s lives are like right?” mindset, so it doesn’t feel like there’s anything wrong in the force. 
> 
> Because Obi-wan doesn’t think there’s anything wrong.
> 
> Which is exactly how to miss most cases of abuse. 
> 
>   
> Thus the rules about what kind of missions, what age of padawans are allowed to go on, and most padawans spend a lot more time in the temple having high school drama with other padawans, where multiple teachers can ask about how things are at home. Like two missions a year is a lot for most padawans in this AU.
> 
> 16 years old to do vaguely dangerous missions is a very low bar, but 1) the order is old 2) jedi are born badassses trained to dive into trouble, so their ideas of “safe for jedi children” is way lower than ours.
> 
> Master Tenn doesn’t exist, but I assumed there would be someone in charge of legal matters and records of legal matters, like who is the legal guardian of who, so I took the last name of the actor who voiced a vaguely similar role and made it fancy.


	4. Jango to Dral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I got stuck on “wait the kids wouldn't be using email” and dropped this for….a long time. Then someone texted the sibling about this and I reread it to see how bad it was and went TEXT CONVOS!!!
> 
> IDK what theyre texting on, it got me past the sticking point.  
> Very, very deep thanks to CodenameCarrot and La_Temperanza who wrote “How to Make iOS Text Messages on AO3" I added to my skin. I’ll link it under the chapter.

Ori-shebs  
  
**Yesterday** 11:15 PM  
**Jango:** I'm going to stab you with your lamp if you don't turn it off.  
**Jango:** GO TO SLEEP  
  
**today** 3:34 AM  
**Jango:**...who's the kid?  
**Ori-shebs:** You’re about the same age, pick a new aggressive nickname.  
  
**Ori-shebs:** J’Buir found him in a bad spot, he’s coming with us.  
**today** 7:34 AM  
**Jango:** ok....  
**Jango:** ...who's the jetti?  
**Ori-shebs:** WHAT   
**Ori-shebs:** J’buir didn't mention that.   
**Ori-shebs:** I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS   
**Jango:** he doesn't seem to know you were on the ship from the way he just jumped   
**Ori-shebs:** ….that actually answered one of my questions, Beskar /does/ block the force from the outside   
**Jango:** he might not answer your questions now   
**Jango:** just so you know   
**Ori-shebs:** /I apologised/ he’s good.  
**Ori-shebs:** he didn’t know Beskar blocked the force either!!   
**Ori-shebs:** HE WANTS TO DO EXPERIMENTS!!   
**Jango:** I’m gonna get the fire extinguisher.   
**Ori-shebs:** that sounds like a good idea   
**Ori-shebs:** .....want to help think things at him with my spare helmet on?   
**Jango:** YES   
**Ori-shebs:** swear words allowed, no violence.   
**today** 8:12 AM  
**Ori-shebs:**...wow, he must be cool. You didnt even wanna throw things at him.   
**Jango:** He’s not going anywhere, I can test the force when he doesn't look like a kicked tooka.   
**Ori-shebs:** C:   
**Ori-shebs:** that’s really mature of you, I didn't think you had the brain cells!   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s notes
> 
> first off: I text like that with my sibling, fight me.
> 
> The link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/6434845/chapters/14729722
> 
> Translations 
> 
> Ori-shebs - first part of older brother/sibling plus ass. “Eldest asshole”. Made it up on the spot. 
> 
> Jetti - jedi
> 
> Beskar - mandalorian “iron”. Think space mithril. 
> 
> Jango should have siblings, he wouldn’t have been as stupid in canon if he’d had someone to tell him he was being dumb.
> 
> It's 3AM These two are only awake because they’re nosy frankly.  
> That is a literal hour after Janster found Obes, he hasn't even sent the first email. He’s probably writing it. 
> 
> ...Jango is probably going to be sheb-ika, or asshole (child). He is 14 and just discovered swearing as a hobby.
> 
> Darl (Ori-shebs) is fairly patient and the best way to make the “I'm mad at the world because im 12” kid mad is to. Not care about the rude thing they spent too much time thinking about. He is 1) an Armor in training (will be useful later) 2) Autisic.
> 
> Autism in this ‘verse is genetically force linked, as in not all force sensitives are, but a lot. When you can hear the universe scream at you, people get a lot easier and harder to understand.  
> Neurotypicals lie a lot, and call it polite. Plus the whole “Jedi are cold and unfeeling” smacks me the wrong way, as a Austic person.
> 
> Obi will talk to everyone later, I just wanted to get this out before I thought about it too much.

**Author's Note:**

> the fic isn't done yet, go sleep! 
> 
> I'm kidding, go yell at me on tumblr or discord, I'm merryrogue there too.


End file.
